Ten Things I Thought I Couldn’t Live Without: Training Camp part 1

1. Showers. If you had told me before training camp that I would go 12 days and only take 3 “showers” I wouldn’t have believed you. Furthermore, if you had told me that those 3 showers would be the coldest and most miserable bucket showers ever I would have maybe reconsidered this whole training camp idea. I enjoy being clean. I like looking nice. I like when the people around me are clean and look nice. This ideal was shattered during training camp. Not only were we lacking in showers we were running, hiking, doing boot camp style workouts, and living in muddy Georgia. 

2. Coffee/Caffeine. Normally, I drink 2-3 caffeinated beverages a day. It is what keeps me going, on top of my normal 8 hours of sleep. I think I went through some serious withdrawal. It felt like some cruel trick that they were not letting me have caffeine every morning. There is coffee everywhere in the world right??

3.  Snacks. I have lived my life being able to eat what I want when I want. I don’t really ever remember having restrictions on snacks. I usually eat 5-6 smaller meals each day. Here I got none. I had no control over what I ate or when I ate it. 

4. Sleep. Back to that whole 8 hours of sleep a night thing… ha laughable. I got maybe 6 a night if there weren’t people talking, loud “airport”noises, rain coming inside my tent, or giant man eating fire ants eating my feet.

5. Heat/Sunshine. Lets just say that Georgia isn’t California. 

6. Music. I love music. Somehow Spotify undownloaded itself from my phone. This was kind of a barrier to my “introvert” time of headphones and staring at a wall. It also made it hard to go to sleep.

7. Internet. Now to get more serious. I am on a computer about 14 hours a day. I work on a computer. My phone sends me about 300 notifications a day between email, Facebook, Whatsapp, texting, snapchat, and Instagram. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine how I could survive a day without my phone much less 11-12. How could I connect with people? During training camp, surprise, I have never felt MORE connected to people. It was amazing to share a meal with people without one of us checking to see who in the world might be texting that was “more important” than the relationship right in front of us. I have come to the conclusion that I use the internet not to connect, but to disconnect. When things around me are awkward, scroll through Facebook. When I am bored, text my friend. When the sermon isn’t “clicking” with me look at my friends snapchats. When I am lonely, look at Instagram…instead of spending time with Jesus. This is a serious issue. 

8. Walls. Metaphorical and Physical Walls. I thought that I had to have a way to escape. I need my time to myself. I spend a lot of time alone and was a bit freaked out by the prospect of having no introvert time. Well after a week and a half of having maybe 15 minutes alone ever I actually miss being with people all the time. Not sure if that will last, but here is to hoping. 

Now about those metaphorical walls. I have all kinds of walls up in my life. I have been guarded for years because of feeling unworthy and like I can’t trust people. I have had so much hurt in my life that I felt like without those walls I was going to get crushed. I felt like I couldn’t give people a chance the way I should. Well God shattered those walls. I experienced some amazing healing in my life at Training Camp. 

9. A Schedule. I am an Admin. This is something that defines me. I like schedules. I like knowing what is going on. I like being part of the inside scoop. I like control. This week, along with some healing from God, broke me of that. I didn’t know what I was going to be doing even 10 minutes in advance. I never knew if I was late or early or on time. I waited around. I had zero control, and I may have even liked it. 

10. An agenda. I had an agenda for this week. I had expectations. I know, I know every blog everywhere says to go without expectations. Too bad. I had them. Those expectations got shattered in every way from who was on my squad, to who I would get close to, to who was on my team, to what I thought camping was. Know what? God’s agenda is better than mine. This isn’t MY world race, it is HIS.